Since this is our family journal, I wanted to write about some answered prayers recently. Through these experiences I have gained a greater testimony of faith, prayer and how Heavenly Father is aware of each of us and knows what we are going through. He wants to help us and knows he can when we come to him and ask. I remember when I was praying about something specific a few weeks ago and I read in my scriptures about kneeling and asking Heavenly Father and "it shall be given unto you". When I read that verse, I felt inspired to kneel again and ask Heavenly Father what I had been praying about and it wasn't too long after that, he answered my prayer! It was a test of my faith and knowing that HE hears and listens to us. I have such a strong testimony about prayer and how it can help strengthen our lives and comfort us in whatever we are going through.
*A few months ago my high hamstring was bothering me. I had been training for the Boston Marathon and training was going really well. I felt good about where I was at and excited for this race. About a month before Boston, I started getting a pain in my hamstring area. It came on very slowly but after a few weeks of running in pain I had to stop completely because I could barely walk. I remember feeling devastated. I wanted to do well in Boston and here I had to stop running a month before the race. I got a blessing from Spencer and prayed day and night that I would heal and not be able to feel it come race day. A week before the race, I tried running after staying off it for 3 weeks and I couldn't feel anything, so I was going to give Boston a shot. Race day came and I ran the whole race without feeling my pain in my high hamstring. I had other issues of cramping and my knees but I couldn't feel my original pain at all! I knew Heavenly Father had heard and answered my prayers! He helped me to heal in time for Boston so that I could still run in the race. This really helped strengthen my testimony on prayer! It was a huge turning point in my testimony on praying on faith and having faith that your prayer will be answered.
* A few weeks after my race, I remember I had deleted some important things on my computer. I started to panic trying to find them. I looked everywhere in the trash bin file on my computer and couldn't find them anywhere! I decided to pray about it and remember thinking that it was so minuscule in the scheme of things to pray about something I had lost on my computer, but did anyway knowing Heavenly Father had heard and answered my prayers before. After I was done praying, I got back on my computer and went through my trash bin files again and FOUND what I had deleted! My prayer had been answered once again. I remember saying a prayer of thanks after finding the files thanking Heavenly Father for helping me!
* A few days after my computer incident, I lost something else really important. I wish I could remember what it was but can't right now. Anyway, I distinctly remember thinking that I probably shouldn't pray about this since I didn't want my prayers to run out and Heavenly Father had just helped me a few days earlier with my computer files. But then I quickly dismissed that thought knowing that, again, if we pray in faith, knowing that He will help us, He will. So I prayed to find this item I thought was so important and after a quick search of our apartment again.. I found it! I remember starting to cry knowing that Heavenly Father really does KNOW us and LOVE us and wants to HELP us. No matter the size of our problem or item we lost, he is in control and will help us if we go to him!
* Spencer and I have been trying to get pregnant again and it is taking some time compared to with Charley. We got pregnant right away with her without even thinking twice. Now trying again, it has been hard since my cycle is not happening because of breast feeding. We have been trying for 4 months now and it is so hard to play the waiting game every month. We have been praying and fasting a lot to try to get pregnant. I went onto Amazon to buy some ovulation and pregnancy tests and had them in my cart ready to buy when I thought I should go to the store and just buy one pregnancy test to make sure I wasn't already pregnant before I spent more money on all this stuff. The next day I check and even though I wasn't pregnant (darn!) my period came back that same morning! It was such an answer to prayers to get my cycle back to now know for sure when my period is and when I am hopefully ovulating!
* Lastly, I have been thinking about one of my sisters a lot recently. She is going through a few things right now and trying to decide on a certain boy. Whether to continue the relationship or call it quits. I remember praying for her and thinking that I should just write her an e-mail. Not to give her advice, but to give her my experiences with dating and some examples of things that went well/didn't go well to help her decide. I sent her an e-mail and my oldest sister, Danielle, called me the next day telling me she had just yesterday called my sister and e-mailed her too! I feel like we were both inspired at that time to help our sister out and let her know we were thinking about her. This helped me to know that Heavenly Father works through us to help his children. It made me think about a time about a year ago when I had done this exact same thing but with my oldest sister, Danielle. I wrote my family this e-mail..
"Hey Familia,
So tonight whilst praying, I had an overwhelming feeling to ask for you to pray for Dani. I had such a wonderful time out there with her and she is such an incredible person with so much to offer. You might already have her in your daily prayers, or used to but have not anymore.. but I was thinking that our family is so strong and tight knit and that family prayers really do work as we have seen with other siblings. I remember when I first went through the temple for the first time, mom was with me and she went over to the prayer box and put Dani's name in and said that she always does this. I have done this ever since.
I never got the feeling while I was with her last weekend that she is lonely and sad.. but on our way to the airport in dropping me off, I asked her how the "boy" aspect in her life was. We talked for a while and to be honest, I think she is just content right now and kind of done trying.. which is fine and works well for her.. I think she just really needs our prayers for courage to talk to guys and our prayers for her future husband to be bold and talk to her. I think she also needs our prayers to help her feel inspired to know what to do with her job/life. She has mentioned Colorado next, but I really feel she just needs to stay in one spot.. That might sound weird to pray for her future husband, but I prayed for my future husband for a year before I even met Spencer. I prayed that he was doing what he was supposed to be doing to find me and that we would meet at the right place in the right time.
Everyone's situation is different, but those are my thoughts. I just thought it might be nice for her to have our prayers and I really felt the Spirit tonight when I was praying for her to ask that she can meet someone. She is the best example of love, charity, and generosity that we all can look up to. She would do anything for us at the drop of a hat and I sometimes really ache for her and what she doesn't yet have (family).
I love you all!
Mads"
My mom responded: So sweet Madison…………….I have Danielle in my prayers all of the time. Praying that she will meet and fall in love with a special man and that she will have the opportunity of marriage and motherhood in this life…………I do put her name on the prayer roll every single time I attend the temple……I put her full name and I always put the heart sign over the “I” in her name…..
I pray that someone will be led to her and will fall in love with her and that marriage will happen for her………..I always say, thy will be done and that the Lord knows all things when I only see a limited side. But I do pray for her………….It will be fast Sunday for us AFTER general conference……….Shall we make it a special family fast?
I love you all. Thanks Madison for your thoughts……………
xoxoxoxoxo
A few weeks later, I e-mailed Dani telling her what I had done and her e-mail back was this:
Ok great now I'm balling!😃
I love you poops! I love your thoughtfulness! I love your intuition! I really think you have a special gift for being in tune and are guided by your righteousness to be an angel! You are my angel today and always!
I have checked out of the boy/family path and I need to check back in! Being with you married girls and Nora rekindled that light within, I really do want to be a mom and have a family!
Thank you for thinking of me and thank you for sharing your thoughts with the family!
I love you tons and literally would do anything for you! I loved having you here with me, it was a very special time! I cherish it dearly and have looked over our pictures already many times!
Have a most beautiful day!
Love love, Dani
In my letter to my sister just recently I wrote her this:
Hey Meg,
I don't know why I have been thinking about you a lot since you were here in New York with us and I just wanted to tell you that I love you and thinking about you a lot! It seemed like you were kind of going through a bunch of emotions/feelings/trying to sort things out with TanMan and I just wanted to give you a few experiences I have had with boys/boyfriends to maybe give you some examples that will hopefully help you in your decision making. I am VERY neutral to your choice since I haven't met Tanner so this isn't to push your feelings one way or the other.. rather just some things to think about I guess. I am not here to give advice or tell you what to do (though I am sure you wish someone could tell you!) but I know how hard these kind of choices are especially when feelings are involved so take what you will and leave the rest!
LOVE LOVE!!
ps. Now looking back on ALL those experiences I realized lead me to some really spiritual experiences and each, in it's own way, was an answer to prayers.. Ill explain as I go.. :)
- My first "real" boyfriend was Nakean in Seattle when I lived there with Kels. Do you remember hearing about him. Yea he was black and a bartender and we worked at the same restaurant. He was a really nice guy and I really liked him but obviously couldn't and didn't want to marry him since he wasn't a member of the church. We had a lot of fun that summer but I knew at the end of the summer I needed to break up with him. He, of course, didn't want this and pushed and pushed for me to not break it off. I felt bad and and waited and waited and kept putting it off. This did not please father and he ended up coming to Seattle and helped me pack up and me, Bailey and dad drove to California where LorieAnn was working with some college friends selling pest control. I moved in with her and worked at a reception desk. I remember the night before dad came to get me I went to Nakeans house and told him I had to break up with him and that I was leaving in the morning. I remember being so scared to tell him and sad but also SUPER relieved knowing that he wasn't right for me anyway. I remember being so thankful for dad coming to get me and even though at the time I'm sure I didn't seem happy or thankful, I was deep down that dad was inspired and knew to help out even when I didn't even know. One thing that I really appreciated about Nakean was that he was really respectful of my choice and still really nice about the situation and me. We facebooked a few times when I was in Cali, but it slowly died away. I remember once I was in Cali thinking that Nakean was really respectful of my choice and since he did really LIKE me, he respected how I felt and my choice and wasn't going to be mad since that is how I felt.
(answer to prayer: dad coming to get me to take me to Cali which is where I MET and started dating Travis from BYU-I)
Travis- Being in Cali was hard at first but I slowly started hanging out with all of Lorie's college friends and met Travis. We hung out a lot the rest of that summer and when we went back to BYU-Idaho, we started dating. I REALLY liked Travis! He was spiritual, funny, made me laugh, we had fun, he played magic tricks, was super cute with little kids and had a lot of qualities I wanted in a husband. We never really fought or had a bad experience together. I tried to see him in ALL situations to know if I liked him in ALL situations. How as he with kids? How did he treat/like his family/siblings/mom and dad? How did he respond to a situation that didn't go in his favor? Did he carry on a conversation well with strangers? our teachers? a clerk at the checkout line? my friends? did he read his scriptures and could we have spiritual discussions too? YES! He really fit the mold. I LOVED our spiritual discussions and he had some great questions that we would study together. We would also go out on fun dates, he would write me notes, send flowers and show we he was thinking of me. ANYWAY... you get the gist. I thought we would get married. We talked about it. We really liked each other. Then one day I noted he was super sad, not talking much and told me he had something to tell me. That night we went out on a date and came back to my apt and we were sitting on the couch and he told me that he had been praying about us and just didn't feel right about it. I WAS CRUSHED!! This was the first I had heard about him not feeling right and I was so sad. I started to cry and asked him why? He said he didn't know.. he REALLY liked me and thought we could make it work but he prayed about it and never got a strong yes or a strong no but he felt it just wasn't right. I cried and cried that night after he left. This was one of my saddest nights! It was really hard for me to hear this and I can't imagine how hard it was for him to tell me this! Especially since I was crying, I know it broke his heart. I remember the night he left, we hugged good bye and I was about to give him a kiss like I always did but had to consciously stop myself since he had just broken up with me. It still hadn't registered... He shut the front door behind him and I just collapsed on the floor and bawled for a good 2 hours. I was REALLY REALLY heart broken Meg. I saw him here and there after this and I remembered dad even telling me to tell Travis that I still had feelings for him and I felt that we were right! I DID tell him this a few weeks later and that I thought he had made a mistake and that I thought we should be together. He still said he hadn't felt that and that we should stay broken up. I would see him on and off around campus and the next couple weeks he just looked so sullen and tired. I KNOW it was wearing on him too and he was feeling so sorry/sad/heartbroken as well. I really think he was being as NEPHI and was doing as the Lord told him even though he didn't know WHY. He didn't know why he had that feeling to break up with me because he liked me, but the Lord was preparing both of us for our future that we couldn't see.
I also remember after about a month give him mean stares at the library or on campus when I saw him and just being rude. I totally regret this and wish I had acting cordially about our break up. He was so sweet about everything and I became super mean and resentful to him... whoops!:) Sorry Travis.
okay last boyfriend before husband was Phil. Phil was a HUGE 6'5 250 lb red head. haha he was a big guy. I am initially attracted to bigger guys for some reason. Anyway, we started dating in Sugarhouse after college and I liked Phil at first. We had fun together, he was super kind and generous, he had lots of friends and was kind of the friend to everyone. Everyone knew him because he had helped someone in some way along the way. He had a big Ford truck and would help lots of people move or let them borrow his truck when needed. Anyway, our relationship lasted about 4 months when little things just started bugging me about him. He was on his phone a TON! at home, during dinner, looking at facbeook in the car. He had alerts on his phone for facbeook too which was super annoying. I brought it up to him and he tried to be better but I felt like he wasn't trying super hard. He also had a few other weird quirks that I wasn't too impressed with. I know he was looking to get married and felt like he liked the IDEA of marriage more than the person (me). He never really showed me he liked me besides taking me places to make-out. I remember praying about him and not really getting an answer but telling Heavenly Father that I was going to keep dating him and to let me know if that was right. Well it was only about another week when those little things kept bugging me and I remember telling Dani that I didn't have the urge to do things for him. to serve him. to make him breakfast and surprise him. that was BIG for me. My love language is to serve others to show them I love them and I didn't have the urge AT ALL. I KNEW then that it wasn't right. I wanted to be able to serve my husband and show him I cared for him. I remember the night I told phil I didn't want to be together with him was SOO hard. I knew how Travis had felt when he broke up with me. IT"S HARD stuff. I would rather run 5 marathons in a row than break up with someone. You have butterflies, ants in your pants and feel like your head is on fire. But once the words left me tongue I felt SOO much better and relieved and strong and a burden was lifted. We last broken up for about 2 weeks and I remember I wanted to get back tougher with him (more out of jealously that he went on a date than anything) and so we got back together but I remember that night after we got back together once I came home I started to cry because I realized I really DIDN"T want to be together with him. I remember picturing my life with him as my husband because I thought maybe it could work, but it just didn't seem right. So i AGAIN had to break up with him and that was even harder since I had just done it a few weeks earlier. That time I would have ran 10marathons in a row if I didn't have to break up with him. But ONCE again right when I did and told him we are donzo I felt so much better and lifted!
(answer to prayers: after I called it quits and was for real, Spencer and I started seeing each other at different parties, places and he asked me out! We had known each other for about a year before he asked me out and knew Phil and knew we were even dating.. but it wasn't till after I broke it off with Phil and started hanging out with other people and at different places that he saw me in a different girlfriend type way and wanted to date.
Spencer- the man I met and fell in love with. We dated for about 4 months before we knew it was right. I distinctly remember praying about him at night and NEVER before or SINCE then have I received such a STONG and POWERFUL yes than that night. I asked Heavenly Father if I should marry Spencer (as I had many other times before), but that night I was filled with warmth and love and overwhelmed with the spirit and KNEW that night that I should be with Spencer. Heavenly Father has never answered my prayer in this way again.. it is usually me choosing one way or the other and then getting a feeling if it's right or wrong, but that night was different and I am grateful for that.
Spencer never got that STRONG burning feeling, but he said when he prayed he felt good inside and knew too. So I know our prayers are answered in so many different ways.
I am so grateful for all these experiences and for the feelings and inspiration Heavenly Father not only gave to me, but to Nakean to be respectful, to Travis to break up with me and to Phil for using his phone so I would get annoyed and have that be my answer :)
All I can say from all of this is that I love you and hope you can take something from my experiences. Keep praying, keep asking, keep kneeling and you will get an answer. Heavenly knows you and is aware of your struggle right now. I KNOW that he answers prayers and HE has so many times in my life. Follow your heart and your feelings and you won't be disappointed. You never have to justify your feelings either.. because those are YOUR feelings put there by Heavenly Father.
I LOVE YOU
Mads
Thank you for thinking of me and sharing your experiences with me and showing me so much love. Your love language truly is service, and I feel so loved in the ways you've served me recently. Thanks for the talks in NYC we had about my situation. THANK YOU SWEET SISTER. I love you so much and I appreciate your influence and love in my life."
That's all for now, just some thoughts on prayer and how it can work in each of our lives if we strive to live righteously and pray in faith knowing that Heavenly Father can and will help us.
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